Bad fashion choices and more about “Us”

Yes, Hands Across America was really a thing.

I just saw “Us”, the scary and brilliant new movie from Jordan Peele. I can’t get the movie out of my head and I need to share some thoughts about what I experienced. Don’t worry, no spoilers here, I promise.

• I love the 80s flashback and, especially, the Hands Across America ad. Who could have ever predicted back in 1986 that, 30 years later, the event would figure in a shocking plot twist and some of the most striking and creepy imagery in a movie?
• The first hour of the movie is filled with anxiety and scares…then things get *really* crazy. And right before it ends, the movie punches you in the gut, just for good measure.
• If I see anybody in a red jumpsuit and sandals, I’m going to punch them right in the throat. I’m not taking any chances that they aren’t murderous doppelgängers.
• All of the actors are terrific in pulling double duty playing two versions of their characters. But Lupita Nyong’o is next level. When she’s on the screen, you don’t just watch the movie, you feel it. Her performance is what makes that twist at the end really sting. And speaking of that twist…
• I can’t do it! I can’t spoil the movie. I wish I could because I’m dying to talk about the ending! But, trust me, it’s a chiller and it will stay with you.

My advice to you if you want to see “Us”: avoid everything about the movie that you can. Don’t watch trailers or read reviews and, by all means, stay away from spoilers! Go in fresh, knowing as little as possible about the movie. You’ll be glad that you did.

The disappointment of Sex and the City 2

It’s gotten way too easy to bag on Sex and the City 2. The new movie based on the iconic HBO series has inspired some of the most venomous movie reviews I’ve ever seen. If you need proof, just check out this collection of the nine most scathing reviews. When a reviewer busts out the “C” word – you know the one I’m talking about – to describe a film’s characters, you know it’s bad.

I saw the film on opening night with a group of friends and found it to be every bit as awful as the reviews indicated. I won’t add to the mountain of negative reviews. Let’s face it, as clever as I like to think I am, I simply can’t top this bon mot from The Stranger’s Lindy West: “SATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human – working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled c*** like it’s my job – and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car.” Suffice to say, when a preview for the new Katherine Heigl movie is the highlight of the night’s screened entertainment, you know it’s a bad movie.

Despite the movie’s wretched awfulness, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. Well, maybe not the movie itself but the disappointment that fans of the show must be feeling. I wasn’t a huge fan of the show but I did like it and I watched most of the episodes from the show’s six seasons. The clever writing, charming cast (none more charming than Carrie herself, show producer Sarah Jessica Parker) and beautiful NYC location inspired legions of fans who followed the lead of their heroes and drank Cosmos, labeled themselves “Carries” or “Samanthas”, and bought lots of expensive shoes. These loyal fans made SATC more than a TV show, they made it a cultural force. In 2007, Time magazine named it one of its “100 Best TV Shows of All TIME“. The show made household names of high-end fashion labels. Admit it: before SATC, you had no idea what a Manolo Blahnik or Birkin bag was (I know I didn’t).

At this point, some of my geek friends are probably reading this and struggling to relate to what Sex and the City means to its fans. I’ll put it in our terms: SATC is to its fans what the Star Wars saga is to us. Just as geeks celebrate everything Star Wars and devour the release of anything related to the Star Wars universe, so, too, do SATC fans. And, just like Star Wars fans, SATC fans dress up for their celebrations, except instead of dressing as Storm Troopers or alien races, SATC fans dress up as middle-aged tarts. And instead of engaging in mock light saber battles, the SATC fans drink lots of cosmos. As I’m writing this, I’m starting to wonder why I’m not a bigger SATC fan. But I digress.

So it is with that perspective, that I say Sex and the City 2 disappoints its fans in the same way that Episode I: The Phantom Menace disappointed Star Wars fans. And if you just let out a huge shudder at the mere mention of Menace, then you can sympathize with SATC fans. Like Menace, SATC2 takes all of the elements from the original series (or, in the case of Menace, the original Star Wars trilogy) and turns it into a smirking parody of the things fans know and love about it. Unlike its predecessors, Menace had no soul, replaced instead with slick CGI effects and obnoxious characters designed to pander to an audience of children (die in a fire, JarJar Binks). SATC2 was similarly soulless, moving the action from the beloved NYC setting of the show to opulent, over-the-top Abu Dhabi and replacing the relatable struggles of the four women with garish, greedy overconsumption. Finally, both movies were overly-long borefests, subjecting fans to more than two and a half hours of torture. To it’s credit, though, SATC2 didn’t include any freakish alien races, unless you count Liza Minelli (I know, it’s a cheap joke that most of you saw coming from a mile away, but I just couldn’t help myself).

I don’t know why SATC’s creators failed their rabid fan base, just as I don’t know why George Lucas thought Menace was a fitting follow up to the greatest sci-fi franchise of all time. I don’t want to think it was just a lame attempt to cash in. I have more faith in these creators and don’t believe they would sell out their fan bases so readily. And if you think I’m either naive or in denial, maybe I am, but I’m OK with that. Ultimately, I think that both Sarah Jessica Parker and director/writer Michael Patrick King were far too ambitious in their storytelling, just as George Lucas was before them. Carrie’s contrived marriage drama – waah! My husband is old and boring! – is as ridiculous as Anakin Skywalker’s mitichlorian origins in Menace. And in telling stories that were bigger than they needed to be, the creators painted themselves into corners that they couldn’t escape from without resorting to hackneyed storytelling that left plot holes the size of Jabba the Hutt’s belly.

I wanted to like Sex and the City 2 and I’m disappointed that I didn’t. But I’m more disappointed for the many fans who were let down by the latest installment. They deserve much better. But I’m willing to give SATC one more shot and I believe that Sarah Jessica Parker and crew can deliver the goods. There are more stories to tell about Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte but they need to be told the right way. I don’t want SATC2 to be the ending to an incredible story that began in 1998 with a simple girl sharing her thoughts on a MacBook in a rent-controlled apartment. Even George Lucas managed to pull it together to produce Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, which was a highly satisfying conclusion to the trilogy that began with Menace. With any luck, Sarah Jessica Parker and crew will do the same.