What Would Liz Lemon Do?

Mom, Apple geek, baseball fan, writer. Lover of all things Cleveland.


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The Songs of Summer

Historians call this relic a "cassette". It plays music.

Historians call this relic a “cassette”. It played music on the 80s-era gadget the Walkman.

I love music. Love it. I love all kinds of music (except country. I’ve tried. Can’t stomach it.) I could wax poetic for tens of thousands of words about music. But as great as music is, it’s even better in the summer.. Don’t believe me? Check out this feature at Billboard.com that shows the top summertime tunes from the past twenty-seven years.

There’s a lot of memorable music on these lists. Notice I didn’t say “quality” music.  I mean, songs like “Party Rock Anthem” and “Call Me Maybe” didn’t exactly clean up at the Grammy awards. “The Power” by Snap won’t make it on any collection of greatest songs. But great summer songs aren’t great because they meet some music snob’s criteria of what makes a song worthwhile. They’re great because they’re memorable and they’re fun. Because hearing them brings back memories of the last day of school, a day at the beach, a trip to an amusement park. The mixture of nostalgia and lightweight pop music is a powerful thing.

So what’s your favorite year? Mine is 1987, hands down. It was an awesome summer, with an awesome soundtrack. Look at that top 10 list:

  1. “Alone” – Heart
  2. “I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)” – Whitney Houston
  3. “Shakedown” – Bob Seger
  4. “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” – U2
  5. La Bamba” – Los Lobos
  6. “I Want Your Sex” – George Michael
  7. “Who’s That Girl” – Madonna
  8. “Head To Toe” – Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam feat. Full Force
  9. “Heart And Soul” – T’Pau
  10. “Only In My Dreams” – Debbie Gibson

 

There’s not a bad song anywhere in that list! I even like “Shakedown” by Bob Seger and I hate pretty much everything he’s ever done.  Looking at this list brings back so many great memories: going to my first concert ever, Madonna’s “Who’s That Girl” (more on that in another post); riding around the west side of Youngstown with my friends, windows down, singing “Alone” in our best wanna-be Ann Wilson voices; getting sick on the Zipper ride at the St. Christine’s festival while “Heart and Soul” played. Actually, that wasn’t all that great but it was memorable.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go make a mixtape of my favorite summertime hits. But first I have to find a tape deck. And some cassettes. And all of these songs on cassette. Never mind, I guess I’ll just go make a playlist.


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One More Thing…

One More ThingApple fans will recognize the line “one more thing” from Steve Jobs’ presentations at Apple media events. It was how he introduced the announcement that he waited for the very end of the presentation to deliver. Ever the showman, he typically saved the best for last. Just when Apple fans thought they had seen all the cool new stuff Steve had to deliver, he revealed the absolute coolest thing yet after teeing it up with his catchphrase “and there’s one more thing…” And that “one more thing” was usually a surprise because what Steve planned to announce at Apple events was always shrouded in secrecy, the same secrecy that kept news of its latest and greatest product launches from the press.

Apple will hold a media event tomorrow, January 19, at the Guggenheim Museum in NYC and the company’s veil of secrecy is still firmly in place so there are no details on what CEO Tim Cook is expected to announce. However, it is rumored that the event will cover publishing and, specifically, textbook publishing. Some insiders have speculated that Apple will unveil an eBook publishing tool that, similar to Apple’s Garageband software, will put the power to create interactive digital books into the hands of writers and editors. Steve discussed his vision for transforming the textbook market with his biographer, Walter Isaacson, before his death. In his words, the textbook industry is an “$8 billion a year industry ripe for digital destruction.” According to Jobs:

‘The process by which states certify textbooks is corrupt. But if we can make the textbooks free, and they come with the iPad, then they don’t have to be certified. The crappy economy at the state level will last for a decade, and we can give them an opportunity to circumvent the whole process and save money.

In his lifetime, Steve Jobs revolutionized seven industries: personal computers, animated movies, music, phones, tablet computing (actually, he created an industry where none existed), digital publishing and retailing. Will Apple execute on his vision to revolutionize an eighth – textbook publishing? We’ll find out tomorrow. But I personally hope that it does. The textbook industry follows an outdated model that does little more than kill trees. Each semester, post-secondary students have to shell out $50 or more to purchase textbooks that became outdated the minute they were printed. The textbook racket is one of the things that is making college more expensive, putting it out of reach of more and more young Americans.

There are several advantages to publishing textbooks in a digital format. They are cheaper for students and, since they can be stored on an iPad, there’s nothing to carry or store. This is especially important for youngsters who often have to carry books in over-stuffed backpacks. At the very least, digital publishing will help ease the strain on still-developing spines. Digital textbooks can be updated quickly and inexpensively so they have more educational value for students. Eliminating textbooks – or drastically reducing the number published – reduces waste and is good for the environment. If this is all that Apple does tomorrow, it will be a major event. But I’ll be disappointed if Apple doesn’t aim higher.

The announcement of a digital publishing tool – similar to Apple’s GarageBand or iMovie software – is the truly exciting possibility for tomorrow’s event. Digital textbooks could give authors the ability to create a more robust experience. Text, video, audio and interactivity make the learning environment more robust. And if publishers have the ability to add a social component to the books, then learning can become a community experience. More importantly, an easy-to-use publishing tool would enable educators and schools to publish their own material. This opens up a world of customized learning materials that could be made available to a wider audience of learners. And I haven’t even addressed how non-educators could use a self-publishing tool. Imagine just a few possibilities: picture books customized to a particular child; family histories; memorials of departed loved ones; recipe books…just to name a few.

Steve won’t be at tomorrow’s Apple event but his presence will loom large. I hope that Apple leadership has the courage to carry on the vision he laid out before his passing.


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Where’s the love, Apple?

This past weekend was pretty exciting. The Rapture didn’t happen and Apple observed the tenth anniversary of its revolutionary retail stores. There was much speculation leading up to the retail anniversary about how Apple would observe the occasion. It was theorized that Apple might launch a surprising new product (iCloud, please??), overhaul the stores, or maybe just throw a big party. Among Apple retail employees, the leading theory was that Apple would recognize their service by giving them an awesome iSomething as a gift. In the end, we were all as wrong as the guy that predicted the end of the world.

Apple’s big deal turned out to be what Mac pundits called Retail 2.0, which allows users to experience the retail store in a whole new way. Apple replaced all of the store signage on the tables (“acrylics”, in Apple employee parlance) with new displays featuring an iPad2 running a custom app that allows users to gain information about products – everything from technical specs to pricing and accessories. The app also features a “call button” that will summon a Specialist to the customer if he or she needs help or is ready to purchase. The new displays are beautiful and look awesome on the tables. I had a dream last night that I displayed them all over my home and they really brightened up my dream home. The information app that runs on the iPads is useful and user friendly. I think customers are really going to love it. And the Specialist call system…well, there are a few kinks that need worked out but I know my fellow retail specialists will learn on the fly and not only fix the system but make it even better. The product table redesign also includes these incredible glass table markers to indicate where the products are located. The only disappointing thing about the store mini-redesign is that there is still a shelf dedicated to boxes of software. This is probably a petty complaint but there isn’t a ton of shelf space in the store and Apple should focus more attention on the Mac App Store instead. But that is a minor complaint compared to the great experience the new iPad2 displays deliver.

My larger complaint is with how Apple recognized the contributions of its workforce. Which is to say, it didn’t recognize us at all. In the days leading up to the May 22 event and the corporate-mandated store meeting to be held that same day, employees hoped for some sort of gift as a thank you for their service. Since our Christmas gift from the company was a humble coffee mug, I didn’t get too carried away with thinking we were going to get some kind of an extravagant gift from the company, even though it is sitting on a giant pile of cash. But some kind of recognition – an Apple-branded shirt or maybe a commemorative lanyard, similar to what we wear in the stores – would have been nice. When I worked at Ernst & Young, the firm and individual managers routinely gave out branded premiums as a token of appreciation. The gifts were fairly small in value but they sent a big message: you, the employees, make our firm successful and we appreciate your effort. When the firm launched a new green office initiative, it gave each employee a coffee mug to reinforce the importance of reducing waste. When the firm celebrated its 100th anniversary, we all received a golf umbrella as part of the celebration. When I was a member of a successful project team, the project manager gave us each a travel coffee mug to thank us for our efforts. These gifts weren’t valuable but what the firm understood is that when there was success to celebrate, the employees should share in it because they played a critical role in creating it. Ernst & Young also knew that when people worked extra hard to ensure success, their efforts “above and beyond” the norm should be rewarded. Apple doesn’t seem to get this.

I’m sure that complaining about not getting a trinket with an Apple logo on it sounds petty and perhaps it is. The fact is, I find my job as a retail specialist tremendously rewarding and not just because of what I receive from the company. Each day at Apple brings new opportunities to learn and to grow. If you’re lucky enough to work at a store like mine in Legacy Village, then you get to work with incredible people and supportive managers. Finally, there are the customers. Providing solutions, connecting people with technology, enriching lives…these are rewards you simply can’t put a dollar value on. Call me sentimental, but it’s a privilege to show someone how to use FaceTime to connect with far-flung relatives or how to organize and share precious family memories using a program like iPhoto. But I can’t help but feel underwhelmed by the love Apple shows its employees. As much as I love Apple products, the employees are what make the store experience truly special. Of course, I’m biased but don’t believe me, believe our customers. The satisfaction surveys we receive from customers routinely cite the helpful and knowledgeable employees as a key reason for visiting the store and making purchases. But it’s not just the sales support we deliver. We engage customers in many ways, from delivering high quality workshops to helping them troubleshoot issues with their devices. We are more than simple salespeople, we are brand ambassadors who want to ensure our customers have the best possible experience with us, our store and Apple, as a whole. Our allegiance to the company and its products lasts long after we leave the store at the end of our shift. And I’m not just speaking for myself here. I feel comfortable saying that my Apple colleagues carry the same level of commitment to the company, as well as the same degree of disappointment with the company’s weak show of support.

So with that off my chest, I’m back to being a happy and loyal Apple employee. No amount of dissatisfaction with the company can dim the joy of selling an iPod to a child who is spending the money from his First Communion on his first iDevice. Ultimately, I’m thankful to the company for hiring me and giving me the opportunity to have those kinds of experiences. But Apple needs to understand that a little bit of love goes a long way with retail employees who work hard and love the company more than the company seems to love them.


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My prediction for 2011: Apple takes over the world

OK, so maybe I’m exaggerating a little. When it comes to Apple and its products, I am prone to fits of hyperbole. But a quick scan of headlines from the Interwebs provides evidence that 2011 could be yet another huge year for Steve Jobs’ little outfit in Cupertino:

  • Apple made money in 2011 before the year even started. OK, to be completely accurate, the company’s fiscal year started in 2010. And on January 18, Apple will report on its earnings from Q1 2011. Under normal circumstances, it would be hard for the company to top its record results from Q4 2010 – $20.34 billion in revenue and a net profit of $4.31 billion – but Q1 2011 isn’t normal for Apple. Sales from the holiday shopping season will be included in those revenues. Just based on what I saw at the Apple Store where I work, I’m guessing those numbers will be huge. Like, larger than the GDP of several Third World countries combined huge. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the picture below of Apple Store traffic during a typical shopping day. For other stores, that’s Black Friday-type traffic. For Apple, it’s 2pm on a Wednesday afternoon.
  • The Mac App Store arrives on January 6. The Mac App Store will bring the same app-buying functionality found on Apple’s mobile devices to the Mac. So now finding, buying and updating software will only require a few mouse clicks (or, if you’re using Apple’s Magic Trackpad, a few trackpad touches). Many long time fans of the Mac are disappointed in this development fearing that the Mac App Store will dumb down the OS X platform. Maybe they’re right, although I hope the OS will be appealing to both seasoned Mac users and newbies, as well. But the App Store will almost certainly be popular with the growing ranks of Mac users and will help to build loyalty among this group.
  • Apple’s three-way with AT&T and Verizon: rumors of an iPhone for the Verizon network have been around for a long time, probably since the iPhone’s initial release. But the rumors gained some credibility back in October when both the New York Times and Wall Street Journal reported that an Apple source admitted to an upcoming Verizon iPhone. Since then, the rumors have become more persistent, such as today’s report of iPhone shipping goals for the first three months of 2011. Again, my own evidence is anecdotal and limited to the Legacy Village Apple Store but if I had a dime for every time a store visitor asked me when the iPhone will be released to the Verizon network, I would have a shit-ton of dimes. It makes me wish I was Steve Jobs, who will actually get $599 each for those iPhones, instead of a meager dime. Then again, these “credible” rumors could be as solid as the rumors of the white iPhone, which continues to be as elusive as Bigfoot riding in a UFO.
  • New iPads and iPhones: here again, rumors abound of new versions of Apple’s popular mobile devices. The latest reports suggest the iPad 2 and iPhone 5 will include a powerful new processor. Rumors on the iPad 2 suggest that an updated device will include a camera and enhanced display. Since Apple tends to release product updates on a yearly basis, it’s a pretty solid bet that we’ll see a new iPhone and new iPad in 2011. No matter what new features are included, the new
    devices will almost certainly solidify the geek love from its most dedicated users, as well as attract new fans.

It would almost take an act of God to derail Apple’s steamrolling excellence. Seriously, the earth under 1 Infinite Loop would have to open up and swallow the Apple campus whole in order to weaken the company. Then again, if pancreatic cancer couldn’t kill Steve Jobs, then nothing will, so don’t count on anything taking down him or his company any time soon. As a result, 2011 will be another huge year for Apple. I don’t expect that Apple will actually take over the world, or even the desktop computing market, which Microsoft still owns. The company will face competition in all of its markets from tough new competitors, such as Google. And now that The Beatles are finally available on iTunes, what else could possibly top that?

No, 2011 isn’t going to be any kind of “tipping point” year where the masses finally embrace the company becomes the dominant force in computing, as Microsoft once was. Instead, 2011 will be just another strong year where the company continues to change the face of computing and how people use technology in their lives. Through products big – the iPad, MacBook Air – and small – the Mighty Mouse, AppleTV – Apple is changing how people engage with technology, improving the user experience and providing faster, easier access to people, commerce and knowledge. So years from now, we’ll look back on Apple’s 2011 as just another year where the company made cool products that thrilled long-time fans and attracted excited new users.

As for me, my only hope for 2011 is that we finally get to see Steve Jobs do this.


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Happy Birthday, Pac Man!

It seems like all of the Internet talk last Friday focused on the intense “Gray’s Anatomy” finale and Google’s home page celebration of Pac Man’s 30th birthday. For those who were still too wrapped up in the “Gray’s” finale to know what I’m talking about, Internet search engine Google changed its logo to a playable version of the legendary game. Although it was annoying to some, the logo change was tribute to a cultural icon of the past, from a cultural icon of today (and very likely, the future). Thankfully, one-hit wonders Buckner and Garcia chose not to honor the ravenous yellow guy’s birthday by re-releasing their 1982 classic Pac Man Fever.

The birthday comes at an interesting time for video games because, as we look back fondly on their past, the future is more promising than ever. Back when Pac Man was released, it was hard to imagine how video games could get any better because it was such a huge leap over previous releases. It’s colorful graphics, catchy soundtrack and wakka-wakka sound effects left the back and forth tedium of Pong in the dust. Today, innovations in gaming and audio/video technologies mean exciting new games are released on a monthly basis.

Advances in HD and flat panel televisions have delivered more realistic gaming experiences. The Internet has made it possible for gamers to connect within a game to play against each other or team up to battle other gamers. Nintendo’s Wii motion sensor technology changed the way gamers interact with games. The technology will continue to evolve and, hopefully, grow more immersive, as both Microsoft and Sony plan their own motion senor technology projects. Game-makers inspired by the wondrous new 3D world created in the movie “Avatar” are, no doubt, salivating at the promise of 3D TVs.

Perhaps the biggest gaming possibilities are in the mobile market. Sony’s PSP is floundering but Nintendo’s DS continues to enjoy huge success in the mobile market. More importantly, the emergence of the iPod, iPhone and, now, the iPad represents an exciting new avenue for games. Apple’s mobile devices combine movement, touch screen capabilities, and beautiful graphics (especially on the iPad where graphics are rendered in HD on the unit’s 9.7-inch display), to create an engaging new gaming environment. This summer’s iPhone OS 4.0 release will include a new feature called the Game Center. Similar to Sony’s PlayStation Network and Microsoft’s XBox Live, the Game Center will include leaderboards, matchmaking, achievements, friend lists and more. This will be the first social gaming service in the mobile market and will appeal to more mainstream audiences, unlike Sony and Microsoft’s offerings, which are geared more toward hardcore gamers.

Never one to rest on its laurels, Nintendo has responded to Apple’s aggressive emergence in the mobile gaming market, calling the company its “enemy of the future”. According to Nintendo insiders, the company is “ready to go to war” against Apple. No word yet on how Nintendo plans to try to stop Apple’s march on their turf but one thing is certain: when companies like Apple, Sony, Nintendo and Microsoft go to war, the consumer will almost certainly benefit from improved hardware and software.

So what’s next? Augmented reality, which shows virtual items in the real world, presents huge opportunities. One of the first iPhone apps equipped with AR is Yelp, which uses the device’s camera, GPS and compass to deliver information about what is being viewed. Using the Yelp app, a user can hold the iPhone up in front of a restaurant and see information about the establishment, nearby Twitter users, and more.  Augmented reality technology has the potential to bring gaming into real life. Just imagine an AR app that adds flashing dots to your path, transforming the sidewalk into a giant, playable Pac Man game field. Have four of your friends join you from their own mobile devices and you’re instantly transformed into Pac Man and his ghost friends, chasing one another throughout your neighborhood. Bet your eight year-old self never though of that back when you were feeding quarters into the game.

All of these new video game technologies are exciting, no doubt. But a huge part of me is still nostalgic for the early days of video gaming and the marvel that a game like Pac Man could deliver. Perhaps it’s because that was a simpler time in my life . Or maybe it’s because I, frankly, suck at today’s video games. I still haven’t figured out what all of the buttons on a PS3 controller do and most of the time when I’m gaming, I just end up madly mashing a bunch of buttons, hoping that I don’t get my virtual self killed. At any rate, the first game app that I purchased for my iPad was – you guessed it – Pac Man and I’m pleased to report that the game is as much fun as I remember it being when I was a kid. And I’m also pleased to report that my four year-old son loves the game, too – far more than anything we’ve played on the Wii. It gives me hope that Pac Man will love on for another 30 years and beyond.